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DEPLOYMENT
PRE-DURING-POST
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During our first deployment in 2006, I decided to mark that difficult time in my life with a permanent reminder-a tattoo. Now in our second deployment, I am once again contemplating inking this point in my life…in our lives. I realize that marking one’s body is not for everyone and is definitely not something to just do for the sake of doing.
Ever since I was a teenager, I had wanted a tattoo. I'd never been quite brave enough to inflict this pain on myself and my husband was adamantly
opposed. However, during the last deployment he relented and I summoned up my courage. I didn't want this to just be a tattoo...I wanted it to have meaning to me...be symbolic. So, I set out to research what I wanted and why. It's no great secret that my life has been far from the fairy tale that we read about as children and the past several years have been extremely difficult. I fought alongside my mom as she battled cancer (and won!); and I took the family reigns as my husband left for an 18 month overseas deployment to Iraq in 2006 and now again, while we serve a 12 month deployment to Afghanistan. Along the way, there have been bumps and bruises, but God turned things that seemed horrible into huge blessings in my life.
Through my mom's cancer, our relationship was restored and is better than ever. Both my mom and I learned that we have courage and tenacity that we never dreamed we had. She is now in her third year of remission and we actually enjoy each other’s company. Through the deployments, God gave me a newfound love and respect for my husband. He restored, or rather saved, that relationship as well, and the love that we share now is a genuine love that has been refined through the fire.
Restoration appeared to be the theme of the past several years, but then I took a closer look and realized it was really transformation. The common denominator is that my attitude has changed, and I have been transformed to being more of what Christ would have me be...as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I believe you really can't have true restoration without some transformation...don't you agree?
Now, what does all this have to do with the tattoo? I decided to mark that point in my life with a butterfly in tribal flight, which symbolizes coming from a difficult place to a better place. I couldn't think of a more fitting symbol and I know that every time I see it I will remember what God has brought me through. It's permanent, just as I am permanently sealed as a "daughter of the King."
Now I’m searching for something to ink and symbolize this second deployment…one of introspect and growth. Looking within me and seeing the areas that need pruned and refined. I’ve yet to find the perfect symbol, but I’m still looking.
I know not everyone agrees with tattoos, but for me, it just feels like the right thing to do....marking the hard spots in my life and honoring them as well....honoring the fact that God took all the bad and made something wonderful!!
Maybe you’re not going to rush out and get inked, but how do you mark the difficult times in your life…the times that make you…YOU? Embrace these times and know that it’s these difficult times that build character and make you stronger.
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Share your pre-during-post deployment stories Send to:
moni@armywifemagazine.com
Archives: Deployment
